Debbie Downer & Other Grenade Throwers...

There is a great skit on Saturday night live called Debbie Downer. In the recurring skit, the main character, Debbie (Rachel Dratch), never misses an opportunity to bring up something negative.

The theme song for the skit goes like this:

"You're enjoying your day
Everything's going your way
Then along comes Debbie Downer
Always there to tell you 'bout a new disease
A car accident or killer bees
You'll beg her to spare you Debbie, please! But you can't stop Debbie Downer!"

Here are some of my favorite lines from the episodes I've seen:

"Do you guys care about that train explosion in North Korea? The media is so secretive there that they may never know how many people perished."

"Wow, you guys, Disneyworld really is fun, it makes me feel like a kid again. I mean, the time before my two-year stint at Children's."

"Lather up the sunscreen. I had a mole looked at recently, and the doctor told me that, due to the extent of its irregular borders, I'm flirting with a melanoma."

"Well, if I don't get enough potassium every day, I awaken in the middle of the night by crippling leg cramps."

I guess that wouldn't be so funny if weren't so true. Everyone knows at least one person like that, right? I would have to say that negativity is my biggest pet peeve. Yes, there are problems in the world. Yes, bad things happen all the time. However, that doesn't mean that they are the only things to talk about.

The problem is just as bad at work. Working in a large organization I'm constantly surrounded by negative people who are always quick to point out why something can't be done...

Steve Neiderhauser calls them Holdfasts. I've taken to calling them Grenade Throwers. They derail the conversation by pointing out some reason why progress can't be made or how "we tried that in the past and it didn't work". Urgh. How frustrating.

That is the reason I've really been enjoying reading about Appreciative Inquiry (thanks to Fouro who turned me on to this).

Appreciative Inquiry, as defined on their site, is:

... about the coevolutionary search for the best in people, their organizations, and the relevant world around them. In its broadest focus, it involves systematic discovery of what gives “life” to a living system when it is most alive, most effective, and most constructively capable in economic, ecological, and human terms.

There are a whole slew of articles available on the site.

One of my favorites is written by James D Ludema - From Deficit Discourse to Vocabularies of Hope: The Power of Appreciation.

ABSTRACT:

This chapter proposes that in today's world of high uncertainty and broad cultural and epistemological variety the purpose of social and organizational inquiry ought to be to create textured vocabularies of hope--stories, theories, evidence, and illustrations--that provide organizations and communities with new guiding images of relational possibility. After showing how the critical methods of contemporary organizational science have contributed to a growing cynicism about the future of human institutions by producing vocabularies of deficit, the dynamics of hopeful vocabularies in human systems are explored. A broad review of the literature suggests that vocabularies of hope serve as powerful catalyst for positive social and organizational transformation. They are ignited when organizational members (1) nurture cooperative relationships, (2) exercise a sense of optimism about their capacity to influence the future, and (3) inquire together into their most deeply held values and highest aspirations. Appreciative inquiry is offered as an alternative to critical and problem-focused inquiry methodologies. Eight core principles of appreciative inquiry that support the creation of textured vocabularies of hope are highlighted. The chapter concludes with an invitation to scholars and practitioners to experiment with new modes of appreciative inquiry that generate vocabularies of hope by posing positive questions about the life-giving, life-enhancing aspects of organizations.

He then shares two great quotes:

Think of the tools in a tool-box: there is a hammer, pliers, a screwdriver, a rule, a glue-pot, glue, nails and screws. The functions of words are as diverse as the functions of these objects. --Wittgenstein.

We can live three weeks without food, three days without water, and, yes, we can even live three minutes without air, but we cannot live without hope. --Mumford.

I could go on and on, but I'll stop here for now.

So, how do you deal with negative people? Have you tried Appreciative Inquiry? What do you think?

Comments

[fouro]

Jonny, Jon, Jon! Welcome back to the fold, o prodigal one.

Great observation about the holdfast/grenade-throwers. You've made me wonder about the comfort-security/challenge-risk dynamic that separates certain people--ya know, the difference between perpetual employee and serial entrepreneur. But best of all that Mumford quote reminded me of the Big Chill:

MICHAEL (Jeff Goldblum): I don't know anyone who could get through the day without two or three juicy rationalizations. They're more important than sex.

SAM (Tom Berenger): Ah, come on. Nothing's more important than sex.

MICHAEL: Oh yeah? Ever gone a week without a rationalization?

Hey, lookit, we're ding-donging--your serve.

[christopher grove]

Jon,
I often find that negative reactions are due to poor communications. Bad information flows often mean that people:
1: feel left out
2: are left out of communications that would help them understand situations better.
If people understand situations better, then maybe they can understand why something didn't work last time and how to make it work this time.
I'm not saying that everybody should know about everything, but I am saying that once people have enough relevant information to understand a situation, they usually contribute in a more positive way and create/perceive less obstacles.

[Mike]

[Pulls pin]

Jon,

I really like the concept of Appreciative Inquiry, but I suffered dehydration AND a narcoleptic seizure reading that abstract!

I think Chris has a good point about information, but I also think that - as you pointed out in your most excellent "Origin of Unengaged Employees" - many people are hired to fill a well-defined box on the org chart; not to think about ways to make the organization great.

[Loretta Donovan]

Put the academic rhetoric on the back burner . . . let it simmer and you can get back to it (if and when you want to). Appreciative Inquiry, front-burner style, is an engergy-raising stir-fry for your Wok.

You recognize Debbie Downer and her kin, so you already have the gist of what makes the organization and its good people become walking wounded: looking for blame, finding fault, post-mortems, taking sides, win/lose, expecting the worst, snuffing out creativity and vision . . . The alternative is to tap into the incidental and unnoticed success, innovation, and collaboration that's already there and build from that (while intentionally making the negative stuff undiscussable). The key is aligning mental tactics to the surge of endorphins that occurs in people who recall what works and share it with others.

There is a process to AI . . . 5 steps of:
* Define
* Discover
* Dream
* Design
* Destiny

It has done wonders with small teams, business divisions, whole corporations . . . and government agencies, nonprofits, churches have used it too. I have 7 years of great experiences with it. Would be pleased to share with you!

[Matthew Cornell]

"Grenade Throwsers" - I love it. Thanks for the great post, and for the references. I wrote a bit on it myself here, if you're interested: Debbie Downer and the Six Thinking Hats.

[mahendrakumardash]

We say a lot about ourselves and a virtual market has opened for sharing blogs that one posts on.But fact remains and this is also necessary otherwise how we will know the other.I feel and apprhend bad days for Ipods days to come,and do not be surprised please if something more acceptable and less costly comes into market.