Consider this: the person sitting next to you at work isn't who you think they are. Your boss, employees, co-workers and customers, they don't really exist. They're all actors. And those actors are playing a role: CONFORMIST. Some of them are so good at it, they should win an award.
We suppress our personalities to fit nicely into what the organization deems appropriate. I know, this is true of society as well to a large extent - but we'll gloss over that for now.
Think about how narrow the potential script really is - Top Line Growth, Cost Savings, Continuous Improvement, Click-through’s, Target Dates, Downsizing, Offshoring, etc.
We have a shared language that is portable between organizations, heck, it even works across industries. Getting something done inside a large organization only happens if it fits within that existing lexicon.
There is way too much fact, not nearly enough feeling. Just once I want to hear someone say - "I don't know, it just feels right to me."
But that doesn't happen - especially as organizations grow. The larger an organization becomes the more the narrow the language gets. We rely on catch phrases, "best practices", benchmarking, power point templates, canned reports, quarterly forecasts, etc.
From now on, whenever someone starts a sentence with the phrase - "you know what I think", I'm going to stop them and say, "don't tell me what you think, tell me how you feel."
Who knows, maybe all I need is a shot in the arm... come to think of it, I haven't gotten drunk in quite some time and I've got all the ingredients for Mojitos in the kitchen (plus it is a beautiful summer evening out) what the hell am I still doing sitting in front of the computer? Time to fix myself a drink and put my Afro Cuban All Stars CD on!
Make it a great night everyone!
This is a damn good entry, Jon, and now I don't feel like working anymore. You messed up my focus and I am standing next on the line for downsizing. Lol
Posted by: Andreas | August 18, 2005 at 03:46 AM
Jon,
I agree with you about personality suppression completely, and what is worst is that most of the greatly admired 'stars' of business don't suppress their personalities...
What I would say though, is don't underestimate the value of what can come after "you know what I think"; I've come across too many people who act (in their jobs) without thinking things through beforehand. Maybe a better way wouyld be to let them say what they think and then ask what they feel; the two are probably complementary.
Posted by: christopher grove | August 18, 2005 at 04:11 AM
Jon,
We are always acting. Roles like: husband, dad, mom, friend… etc... Are we even acting to ourselves?
I wish corporations had feelings but they don’t, feelings are not necessary for success.
Mojitos -- dam good drink. Just finished a couple screwdrivers myself, I hope you enjoy.
Posted by: Chuck Conway | August 18, 2005 at 04:12 AM
Andreas, LOL!! Sorry about that!
Chris, yeah, great point! As soon as they get done with the "think", then ask how they "feel" - great idea!
Chuck, yep, acting is part of life. I think in a great relationship you shouldn't have to act all the time. There are times in the role of husband that I do things that I don't want to do so I have to act happy, but those are few and far between now. It should be the same at work, over time, the organization should get to know who you are and figure out where you fit best... to your other point, about feelings not being necessary for success, you're right. In fact, it seems like the more you conform, the more success you'll have as an employee.
Thanks for the great comments guys and extending my thinking!
Jon
Posted by: Jon Strande | August 18, 2005 at 06:26 AM
Don't ever refer to anything that's accepted industry practice as "best practices". If EVERYONE is doing something the same way, and people are willing to share the methodology with their competitors, it can't possibly be the "best". By that standard, voluntarily plummeting to one's death is a "best practice" among lemmings...
I prefer the term "rest practices", because it's what the rest of the industry is doing. Toss that at one of your conformist friends the next time they mindlessly belch up that hackneyed old phrase!
Posted by: Ed | August 18, 2005 at 10:41 AM
Surely best practice for lemmings would be encouraging other lemmings to follow you when you jump (greater ROI)...? ;)
Posted by: christopher grove | August 18, 2005 at 12:09 PM
Jon, you have failed the Iron Jack test, o' mere mortal. Personality is inefficient. Difference is deficiency spelt wrong. There is no "I" in automaton.
This sub-par 360 review result will be noted on your permanent record; please report to the hamster-wheel intake room at once.
Posted by: fouroboros | August 19, 2005 at 12:13 AM
Ed, "rest" practices indeed!
Chris, let's hope they all jump! ;-)
Fouro, yikes! My permanent record?? Not the hamster-wheel intake room again... URGH!!! LOL!!!
Thank you for the great comments guys!
Jon
Posted by: Jon Strande | August 19, 2005 at 06:47 AM
Stop reading my mind!!!
Posted by: Olivier Blanchard | October 23, 2005 at 11:02 PM
I'm a little late here but thought I'd add a comment. I think sometimes personality suppression happens when people stay in a social situation for way too long. For example you hang out with the same people, work at the same place, etc.
What happens is you sorta get stereotyped into exactly how you were when you first got involved in that setting. People start to have a certain set of expectations about your behavior, and you also feel this pressure to conform to those expectations.
So if there ever is any change (progression) with your personality or intelligence, it's hard to all the sudden be your updated self.
And if you weren't really being yourself when you first entered the social situation, this makes it all the worse.
Posted by: R | November 15, 2005 at 07:08 AM
R, what a great comment! Staying too long indeed is a bad thing. I also love your point about not being yourself at the start, then it is much worse.
Thank you!
Jon
Posted by: Jon Strande | November 15, 2005 at 05:44 PM